An entry about faithfulness.

This sabbatical journey has been a long one. We’re coming up on the end of the first year of a two-year experience. When I started down this road with my team, there were some immediate, surface-level experiences and takeaways. I started a Hebrew class and some counseling. I intentionally tried to look for opportunities to bless those in less fortunate situations. I stopped engaging in fundraising and trusted in God’s provisions.

I wrote some initial posts that were easy, fast, and “free” — quick observations while the experience was fresh. But still, there was a slow journey to trod in front of me. Some of the more meaningful objectives of my sabbatical were not — and are not — as easily seen and experienced. I have struggled to create margin or feel like I’m finding any semblance of a “sabbatical space.”

This has been disheartening at times. I’ve been learning some really meaningful and unintended lessons along the way (that you can read about in the last few posts), but the “system” wasn’t working like I wanted it to.

But I knew this would be a long process and I knew the infrastructure Impact Campus Ministries puts in place for sabbaticals works, so I trusted the process. We have our staff create a plan and have some things to shoot for. We design an accountability structure and establish intentional relationships to keep each of us on track. There was a period of time where I was tempted to panic — to scratch the whole thing and redesign it all in order to find the “sweet spot” I was missing.

But I decided to stay the course, because there was still time. That decision is looking to be one of the richest experiences, almost as if it is determined to help my sabbatical find the space that I sought to create.

We stayed curious and we asked questions. We stayed vulnerable and discussed the frustrations. My team has shown up and said “YES” or “NO” as needed. Together we’ve listened and responded. At times it seemed like we were off track and at times that track has brought us right where we want to be. They are helping me find the space I am looking for and helping me get there in healthier ways than I would have forced on my own.

One of the things I always talk about is trusting the story. It’s a concept rooted in Sabbath and an understanding that we have everything we need — that fear and insecurity cause us to do dumb and destructive things. This is part of what I’ve seen in trusting the process. When we know that the process is good, that it’s built on the right stuff and has the right people involved, we need to know this process will bear fruit if we walk it out in faithfulness.

So if you know you have a good process, but you’re wrestling with fear and insecurity, catch yourself before you make a mistake. Trust the process to do what it was built to do.